A Place In This World

For Christmas, my two wonderful sisters Melissa and Jordyn, gave me a "Canadian Care Package" to take back to London with me. It had a Canada mug, Tim Horton's hot chocolate, a Canada colouring book and a candle that smelled like a campfire. It also had a CD they put together entitled "Curated for Canada". It included songs from many Canadian artists, some of my favourite songs from non-canadian artists, some songs to remind me who I am and where I came from. Shortly after I got back to London, the CD became a playlist on my phone and has been played pretty consistently on my commute to work. Last week while listening to it, a song that I have listened to hundreds of times came on and hit me with a whole new meaning and love for the song. The song was Taylor Swift's, A Place in This World.

Before coming home for Christmas, I remember having a conversation with my mom about how my new position was going, how I was feeling about everything, and how hard it was going be to come back after the holidays were over; I remember it like it was yesterday. I told my mom that my heart was beginning to ache less for home. As hard as it is to tell your mother that your heart aches less for her proximity to you, it was the most reaffirming thing that could have happened for me to feel like I made the right decision in moving to London in the first place. As hard as it was for me to admit this, I am sure it was even harder for my mom to admit how happy that made her feel. This conversation was a turning point for me; finally admitting it out loud made me feel like it was okay to miss home a little less. I had been in my new position at Linden Lodge for maybe two weeks before I had this conversation with my mom and if it hadn't been for the welcome I received from the staff at the school, the conversation would have never happened and there is a good chance I wouldn't have come back.

From the beginning, I have said everything happens for a reason. There was a reason I was recruited to move to London. There was a reason it didn't work out with the first agency that forced me to look elsewhere and end up with Vibe. There was a reason I was placed at Linden Lodge just under a month before I was coming home for Christmas. Whatever that reason was, I am beyond grateful for it; my life is beginning to feel whole again. I have formed friendships, feel a sense of purpose when going to work (despite having really hard days/weeks), felt that what I do at work is making a difference no matter how big or small. Most of all, it has reminded why I went to school for the programs I did. Everything is falling into place and finding my place in this world, isn't as unknown as it used to be.

"Oh I'm just a girl, trying to find a place in this world" -- A Place in This World, Taylor Swift

xo Michelle